Call Me Crazy?

“Clinging to the rules of the outdated past” is what the playbill read. This should have been my first indication that I was in fact, in the wrong place. I attended my university’s theater production of “Man & Beast”, a play that explored society and its perceptions of what a relationship should be,  involving sexuality and the consent thereof.   In the director’s note he had claimed that “…the western world has latched onto monogamy as the primary relationship form, generating all sorts of trouble” he continued to claim that “honesty and communication are often preached but rarely practiced pillars of a good relationship”. Who is this guy?  To claim that monogamous relationships are prone to infidelity is not an abstract contemplation, however… it is premature to assess monogamous relationships to the extent of making the claim that they are susceptible and sensitive to infidelity on account that our instinct or “beast’ is to overcome the complacent western traditional moral system. This tradition, this monogamy, is, according to the director, “generating all sorts of trouble”. Trouble for who? The individual? Simply, don’t marry if you cannot be faithful or have no desire to be faithful. Trouble for who? Monogamy is trouble for society? for the individual?

I would think it would be the other way around, wouldn’t you? “Swinging” appears to generate trouble, in my opinion. Call me old fashioned.  The director poses a question to the audience as though he has discovered, unlocked, and leashed something grand and ultimately relevant and revolutionary. He asks who decides what is right and what is wrong- that is, why do we have monogamous relationships? This,  is what he asks- who made the rules? Well gee, no-body’s thought of that before, smart guy, eh? He also contemplates why it is that men and women are paired- why not have a “triad”. This is what he asks. Why?  With respect to faith, God made Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve. Beyond faith, however hard to put aside, who wants to live in a society or grow up in a home where dad’s Monday night football beer fests are exchanged for papa’s “alone time” with Steve down the street. I can’t imagine. Don’t even mention it to me. Can you imagine? I mean, this man, this director, is proposing that swinging and being “kinky” as he so put it, should not be something one should neglect to appreciate.  Our sexuality should be explored, and our experiences should be shared- we should be able to peak over the fence and ask our neighbor for a quick one. Gimme a break, pal.  He can think it’s just swell, but don’t suggest that people who don’t appreciate these kinky ways are in fact, kinky people.

It’s not just this director, this individual, either. The play was well received. Roses were thrown on stage, the audience applauded endlessly, whistles bellowed… I didn’t get it.  Am I missing something? Should I have been standing on my feet- swept with inspiration? ” Golly that was phenomenal- I need to find me a woman and a man…”

So the director loved it. So the actors loved it. So the audience loved it. What’s my problem?

I’ve been socially rejected from my roommate’s clan of “ladies” on account that I perceive their actions to be bisexual. If you saw the things that I saw, I would imagine that you would perceive these “ladies” to be bisexual, too. I hate to use 50’s slang here, but if a girl “made out” with another girl, on a regular basis, it would be safe to assume that the frequency of such an act occurred so frequently because one, or both, individuals involved were gaining something out of this (kinky?) experience.  That is to say, one, or both, were enjoying this… experience, for lack of a better word. If you’re enjoying same-sex physical relation, then yes, you are bisexual.  I, apparently, am “conservative” as introduced to the friends of my roommates. “She’s the conservative one”. Well, gee, thanks Tracy Lawrence.

Should I be humiliated? Should I be offended and cast aside on account of my “conservative” ways, when in reality, at least to me, they’re simply normal?

Normalcy is the problem. What is “normal”?  What is to be expected? Walk through a club. If you’re a woman, you better be wearing a push-up, you better be “letting loose” so to speak. You better have legs up to your neck. You should probably say things like ” so oh my GAWD, I was like, totally like… did he JUST check me out?”.  You should probably rub up against some other girl- it’s rate of attracting dirt bags is phenomenal. You should probably know all the words to the top 25- it shows some competency.  Say something intelligent, too- it gets people going. Anything from Britney’s “Gimme gimme” to ” I’m sooo drunk right now” will do just fine. Take another shot of caffeine. Have another cigarette. You’re fabulous.

Am I getting it all wrong? Is this what I’m missing? The swingers, and the clubs where you can find them…  and their “highs”

What happened to blue jeans? What happened to guitar on the front porch? What happened to photographing the ocean? What happened to falling in love and the anticipation of real love? What happened to faith? What happened to moving your feet to Aretha and Stevie? What happened to commitment? When did it become “uncool” to read, to make plans, to write?

Do you ever feel alone? I mean, how many people do you know want the same things that you want in this life? How many people in your life are true? What’s genuine?  What’s honest anymore?

 I read an article the other day; some middle school in Maine, United States, prides itself on handing out birth control to elementary students. I thought the juice box and sucker that came with the pill was a nice touch. Formal but fun.

 What’s going on? It’s one thing to lecture kids on protection… I mean if you’re going to “do it”… think it through prior to.  What I couldn’t wrap my head around was the fact that they’re distributing a hormonal and powerful medication to elementary students, who shouldn’t even consider sex as it is, in the States, illegal at the age of 11. Why are we giving kids birth control?  Is it because people are getting around to it sooner than they used to? Is it the image driven “sex is power” mentality manifested in our society today that is making this all happen “sooner” than “later”? Is it  hearing crowds of people saying “bravo” to a play thrashing monogamy? Call me crazy, something just aint right.